Logline - using a formula
We've taken a lot of time to develop the storyline for our series; Unegen: The Burning Tree and it is arguably still evolving.
A significant amount of work should go into the 'logline', which is a one or two sentence pitch and concept tool. It's a brilliant way to test a concept without writing an entire screenplay. If you can create a solid logline, it can be called back on to write each and every scene in your screenplay.
logline.it/howto is a good resource for testing and checking if your logline follows the following essential elements (more complex stories can deviate) :
The main character: describe sociology/function and psychology/behaviour
The major event: the inciting incident, call to adventure
The action or goal: describe what your character tries to achieve during the story.
One formula as told by Logline.it is:
When a [CHARACTER], is [confronted by a MAJOR EVENT], s/he must [do the ACTION/GOAL].
OR
A [CHARACTER], must [do the ACTION/GOAL] when [a MAJOR EVENT occurs].
Here is an example of a logline from a Hollywood blockbuster that Logline.it gives:
"When the mangled body of a swimmer is found on the beach, the town sheriff must battle the mayor who wants to keep business as usual over the 4th of July weekend; but when the sheriff’s own son is almost killed by a great white, he must show responsibility and venture into the ocean to kill the monster."
Sound familiar? It's Jaws.
I'm going to go through some of the loglines Damien and I have written for Unegen: The Burning Tree since we started this project. This will be an interesting look back on how the story has evolved.
December 5, 2017 - Set in a fantasy medieval Asia, Unegen (13), an orphaned shaman in training, born connected to the spirit of a fox, must learn to heal his people from a dark spirit sweeping the land by journeying to find a Master Shaman who he believes will help him complete his training.
A more detailed (definitely too long) version came later:
April 27, 2018 - When our hero, Unegen (15, Male) an upstart Shaman, bound at birth to a fox spirit, discovers with his heightened senses a soldier with an unknown disease, he must journey West to find and consult the revered healer, Ghazan; befriending the horse-thief Annukah, evading ruthless marauders and defeating fearsome creatures along the way. When Unegen discovers that Ghazan himself is the cause of the corruption through his manipulation of Tengri, Unegen must abandon his physical form and unite with the fox spirit to cleanse Tengri of Ghazan’s influence.
These two versions were part of our feature film concept. The focus in this version of the story was that a 'sickness' was spreading throughout the land - drawing life from all living things, 'the taint' I think we called it. It was a visual cue for 'something is not right'. These loglines were also an attempt at matching the heroes journey formula - think Star Wars: A New Hope.
We eventually agreed that the possibility of raising enough money or pitching this concept as a feature film (being two inexperienced animation writers) would prove difficult. With the constant rise of popularity in quality TV series formats over the last decade, we thought it was best to alter the story and produce a TV series. With this change, we also agreed that a full re-write would improve the development of the concept.
Off the back of that decision, we went into logline writing. Note that we have taken breaks in between working on this. I lived in London over 2019, so we took a bit of a hiatus that year. Spoiler alert if you don't want to know the details of season one, this is fairly close to our current storyline.
June 20, 2020 - Season 1 Logline - Unegen (18), an inquisitive shaman of the Buryat tribe discovers a giant rocky fissure deep in Baikal Forest. At the Fissure he is gifted the ‘Sap’, a mind altering substance, by Ghazan, a shaman claiming to be from the ‘Lower Realm’, a land of giant spirits and the evil, Shyngay. Ghazan explains that he is preparing to hunt a spirit in the Gobi desert and could use Unegen’s help. Unegen regretfully declines as he has Shamanic duties for his tribe. When Unegen and his older brother Oyun are forced to flee their tribe for wrongly being accused of killing Urus Khan (the tribe leader) Unegen, Oyun and their new friend Annukah are hunted by Taban and his cronies (23) looking to avenge Urus Khan’s death and fulfill his ambitious mother, Chuluun’s wishes. While being incessantly pursued by Taban, Unegen leads the trio to find Ghazan in the Gobi desert, defeat an evil spirit of the Lower Realm and help Ghazan return the spirit through the Fissure, past Yabash the Gatekeeper.
Our current working (much simpler) logline for the entire series is this:
When the shaman, Unegen, is tricked into smuggling an ancient spirit to another realm; he must stop the spirit from gaining control of "the sap", before its corruptive power is unleashed on his world.
The above logline is probably our most efficient so far, but being a series it's difficult to go into detail on what happens over the course of three seasons. Meaning it's still a work in progress, but something that I would say is nearly fully formed. The trick here is to constantly go back to the formula stated above and see if you can fit your entire story (main plot spoilers and all) into the one or two-sentence limit.
I'd encourage you to have a crack at making your own logline if you have an idea for a screenplay or story. With a logline, you can test and amend to give you a macro lens look at your concept.
Thanks,
Sam